


Love Love Love

by SkyFireForever, springty



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Family, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Talking To Dead People, War veterans, Well Dave Doesn't Die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18271790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyFireForever/pseuds/SkyFireForever, https://archiveofourown.org/users/springty/pseuds/springty
Summary: "Some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for funBut the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one,"-Love Love Love by The Mountain GoatsWhen Dave doesn't die in the war, Klaus decides to stay.





	1. Home

_ February, 1973. _

 

The war wasn’t over, exactly, but 

Dave and Klaus and the rest of the regiment were finally going to be going home. Kissinger had negotiated some agreement in Paris, or something- it didn’t really matter- and so American troops were leaving Vietnam. That meant them. Klaus had nowhere to go of course, and of course he couldn’t tell Dave why, but thankfully he didn’t ask questions when Klaus asked to come home with him. Just said that they had to be careful, and, duh; Klaus knew that. But God, he was finally going to be with Dave outside of this goddamn warzone, and for that he was the happiest man in the world. They flew out of Da Nang by the end of the month, finally bound for  _ home. _

It was a weird feeling, going home when he wasn’t sure what home was. As long as he was with Dave, Klaus was home, but he couldn’t lie about being curious to see Dave’s family home. He’d let Dave explain what his family was like, insisting that they would absolutely adore Klaus. Dave grew up with his parents and two younger sisters; Mary and Emma. Emma had only been fifteen when Dave had enlisted, so he was excited about seeing how she had grown in the past six years. She’d be an adult now, as Dave had informed Klaus as they had boarded their plane back to the states. 

Dave had spent the entire journey telling Klaus about his family, about old traditions and bizarre family stories. Klaus felt like he was getting to know them just from Dave’s words. He could listen to Dave talk for hours - so he did. He listened and hung onto every word that came from the man’s lips. When asked about his own family, Klaus had shrugged and mentioned that he had a lot of siblings, but said no more. He didn’t need to talk when he could just listen to Dave. 

Klaus didn’t actually begin to feel nervous until they were in the cab on the way to the house. He began fidgeting, unable to sit still for even a moment. Despite Dave’s assurances, he couldn’t be certain that his family would like him. Klaus was hardly normal to most people and Dave’s family sounded pretty conservative. Dave had made it very clear that he wasn’t supposed to make it known that the two of them were together. He was to pretend that he was just a buddy of Dave’s from war with nowhere else to go. Dave’s exact words were to  _ be careful.  _ Klaus wasn’t sure that he appreciated the implications. 

“Are you alright?” Dave put a reassuring hand on Klaus’ leg. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” 

Klaus took a breath, closing his eyes. Dave could read him like a book, always able to tell when something was up with him. “What if they hate me?” He asked after a moment’s hesitation, daring to open his eyes. 

Dave chuckled under his breath. “They could never  _ hate  _ you.” He assured him. “Not when I like you so much.” He grinned that goofy grin that never failed to make Klaus smile back. “They’ll love you. Trust me.” 

“Yeah.” Klaus nodded, trying to ignore the hammering in his chest. “Yeah, okay.” He peered out of the window to watch the Mississippi landscape roll by. He felt a lump in his throat as the taxi drove up to the house Dave had described to him. It was what one might call quaint; not particularly large, but nice enough from the outside. It was stark white, with dark shutters and a gray roof. There was a little porch with a white balustrade and columns. Picturesque, down to the neatly groomed lawn. As they parked in front of the perfectly green lawn, Klaus swallowed past the lump in his throat. 

“Come on.” Dave smiled and exited the car, holding it open for Klaus to scramble out. As soon as he stepped foot on the grass, the front door of the house opened and a short, middle-aged woman came rushing out. 

“Dave!” She exclaimed, cupping her son’s face in her hands. “Dave, my baby boy. You’re home.” She was in tears, kissing Dave’s cheek and head, turning the man’s face red. 

He allowed her to love on him for a moment before stepping away. “Mom, you’re embarrassing me.”

“This is my first time seeing my baby in six years, I have the right to embarrass you.” She was quick to snap. “Look at you.” She cupped his face in both of her hands. “You’ve aged so much.” She sniffled to herself, taking a moment to wipe the tears from her eyes. “You’re  _ home.”  _

Dave’s expression softened. “Yeah. Yeah, Mom. I’m home.” He pulled her into a tight hug before pulling away. “This is Klaus.” He introduced. “He’s a friend of mine. He had nowhere else to go, so I offered him a place here.” He explained. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Klaus offered the woman his hand to shake, but she bypassed it in favor of crushing him in a hug. “Of course it’s okay!” She exclaimed, pulling away to greet Klaus with the widest, beaming smile he’d ever seen. “Come right on inside. Everyone else is already waiting. You are more than welcome to stay for as long as you need, Klaus.” She assured him before turning on heel and starting towards the house. 

Klaus was stupefied as he stared after her. He already felt more at home that he ever had in all his years with his own parents and siblings. He glanced at Dave and couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. He was never going back.


	2. Family

Klaus carried the briefcase with him as he followed Dave inside. He watched as the man was greeted by what felt like swarms of relatives, all congratulating him on not dying. Klaus didn’t know what he would have done if Dave had died. He couldn’t imagine it, didn’t want to. He and Dave had both made it and that was all that mattered. 

“His family seems almost bigger than ours.” Klaus glanced behind him to see Ben standing there. He quickly faced forward, not wanting to appear to be talking to himself. Klaus watched as Dave was clapped on the back by a rather tall man with a long beard.

“He has lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins.” Klaus murmured quietly, so hopefully only Ben could hear. “They’re a close family.” 

“Well-” Ben was cut off by Dave’s mother stepping forward and resting a hand on Klaus’ arm.

“This is Klaus.” She introduced him to the tall man with the long beard. “He’s a friend of Dave’s from the war. Klaus, this is my brother, John.”  

“It’s a pleasure.” Klaus stuck his hand out for the man to shake, which he did enthusiastically. Klaus thought that he might yank his arm clean off and was thankful when he was finally released. 

“Any friend of Dave’s is a friend of ours!” John beamed, throwing an arm around Klaus’ shoulder. “Come on, let me introduce you to the rest of us.” He pushed him through the crowd, introducing him to all of Dave’s extended family. They were close, joined together in celebration. They were a real family, a family unlike Klaus had ever witnessed. Klaus remembered his own family, how there was no love shared or lost between them. They had never wanted Klaus there anyway, not with them. He was always the disappointment, the failure. He had been kidnapped and tortured without any of them coming to save him. The memories stung and he struggled to keep up a friendly smile as he was being introduced to Dave’s cousin Diane. He tried to forget those memories even as his skin began to crawl and he began to itch. The memories of his own addiction being used against him were still painful ones.

He was somehow being paraded into the kitchen, suddenly finding himself by Dave’s side once again. He was thankful for his presence as he looked over and smiled at him. God, that man was just as beautiful as the day they had met. No, he was more beautiful. He was clean and safe and happy, surrounded by people who loved him. It was breathtaking to see. 

“I made something.” Dave’s mom moved towards the fridge. “It was originally for Dave, but I think Klaus deserves it just as much.” She pulled out a cake and set it down on the dining room table. It had  _ Thank You For Your Service  _ written across it in green icing. Klaus’ eyes widened and he backed away. 

“Oh, no.” He laughed anxiously. “I can’t...if it’s for Dave, then-”

“Nonsense!” John called from the back. “You fought just as hard as he did.” 

Dave put a hand on his shoulder. “He’s right, you know.” He told him gently. “You’ve earned this just as much as I did.” 

Klaus found himself tearing up, quickly wiping at his eyes. He wasn’t used to belonging to something like this. He wasn’t really used to belonging anywhere at all. He sniffled and nodded slowly. “Thank you.” He exhaled shakily. “Thank you.” 

Dave smiled kindly and wrapped his arms around Klaus’ shoulders. “You’ve earned this. You deserve it.” He whispered in his ear, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He smiled at him and took a knife. “Here, you make the first cut.” He offered. 

“Okay.” Klaus agreed, voice trembling. He accepted the knife with one hand, still holding the briefcase in his other. He gently made an incision into the cake, cutting himself a tiny piece before transferring it to the plate in front of him. Everyone cheered and he felt so overwhelmed. “I…” He swallowed past the thick lump in his throat. “May I be excused?” He didn’t wait for an answer before dashing out of the room, his entire body trembling. He tried each door he came across before finding a bathroom, ducking inside and locking the door behind him. 

He sat on the closed toilet seat, clutching the briefcase to his chest. He was shaking, why was he shaking? He tried to get his breathing under control, unable to understand why he had freaked out like that. Things had been going  _ well,  _ Klaus had been  _ happy.  _ People had been happy that Klaus was there. He realized that was exactly the problem. No one was ever happy when Klaus was around, not because of him, not a  _ family.  _ But this family was. Dave’s family was happy to be around him, didn’t mind him. 

“Are you alright?” Ben was sitting on the sink, watching his brother’s meltdown in concern. “What happened out there?”

Klaus exhaled, running a hand through his curls. “They were happy.” He laughed anxiously. “They were happy that I was there. They were  _ celebrating  _ me.” 

Ben nodded. “Yeah, people do that for veterans. You count as a one of those now.” He said simply, tucking his pockets into his hoodie. “How does it feel?”

“Good.” Klaus admitted. “Really, really good. Better than I was expecting.” He took a deep breath as he stood up. “Okay, I’m okay now.” He walked towards the sink and waited for Ben to move. When he did so, he splashed his face with cold water. That made him feel a little better. He made his way out of the bathroom to rejoin everyone else, but he struggled a bit to navigate the unfamiliar house, and he was still somewhat out of it. He encountered someone- bumped into her, really- but it wasn’t Dave or anyone he had met yet.

A young woman, who Klaus figured was probably one of Dave’s sisters, stared at him in confusion. “Who are you?” she asked, eyebrows knitted together.

“Sorry,” Klaus said immediately. “Sorry. I’m a friend of Dave’s. From the army.” ‘ _ Friend’ _ didn’t cover the half of it, and he hated lying about this, but he knew better than to tell a complete stranger. He wasn’t, contrary to his family’s opinions, an idiot.

 “Oh!” She seemed to brighten up at that, so Klaus must not have messed that up. “So Dave is home?? He’s  _ finally _ home?” Klaus nodded, and opened his mouth to speak, but didn’t get a chance to really say anything before she continued. “It’s been so long! Oh- I’m Emma. Dave’s sister. I’m sorry, what was your name again?”

He couldn’t help but laugh a bit, even despite the meltdown he had just had in the bathroom. “I didn’t say,” he said, smiling. “But, it’s Klaus.”

Emma grinned brightly; Klaus wasn’t sure why, but it made him smile too. “It’s wonderful to meet you, then, Klaus. Now!” She clasped her hands together. “Where is Dave??”

“Oh, well, I got sort of lost, but…” He trailed off. But  _ what _ , Klaus? Emma didn’t seem to care. She grabbed his hand and dragged him through the house until they came upon everyone else. Upon seeing Dave, Emma immediately dropped Klaus’ hand and ran over to him.

“Dave!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around her brother. With a laugh, Dave picked her up and spun her around. 

“Em! You’re all grown up!” He twirled her around before setting her on the ground. “Look at you! You’re grown.” His eyes shone with tears as he looked upon the young woman who had been only a teenager the last he had seen her. “Wow.” 

Emma shared in Dave’s tears. “Hey, I’m not the only one who’s gotten old.” She teased. 

Klaus watched their banter from afar, smiling to himself. That was what siblings should be. They were so happy to be together again, not obligated like his family was. Dave’s family was whole, happy, they loved each other. It was something Klaus was so grateful to be a part of. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are a writer's best friend!


	3. Killers

“Why are you celebrating him?” Klaus turned to see a man with dark hair scowling at Dave and Emma. “Don’t you know what he is?” He pointed threatening at Dave, who lit up with a smile.

“Rob!” He greeted, walking towards the man with the dark hair. “It’s good to see you, it’s been too long.” He held his hand out for the man to shake, but Rob just shook his head.

“I have no desire to speak to baby killers.” He snarled before spitting at Dave’s feet.

Klaus’ blood ran cold and Dave took a step back. He looked entirely taken aback, unsure of how to respond. Emma stepped between the two men. “Rob, can we not do this now?” She pleaded. “Dave just got home. He’s been through so much.”

“Come on, Em.” He insisted, glaring past her at Dave. “You’ve watched the news, you’ve seen what they’ve done. They murdered innocent people. How can we all just stand back and celebrate that?”

“That wasn’t Dave!” She snapped and Klaus found himself moving forward without realizing that he was doing it.

“Hey, can’t we all just...take it easy?” He requested, not liking how the man was talking to Dave. His instinct was to defend him, to protect him, no matter what. He didn’t particularly care that he was getting involved in something that didn’t have anything to do with him.

When Klaus spoke up, Rob immediately turned on him, glaring. “And who are you?” Anyone else probably would have just kept quiet, stopped while they were ahead, especially with Rob’s tone so aggressive, but this was Klaus, and this was about Dave. Of course he wouldn’t do that.

“Dave’s b- Dave’s friend,” he said sharply. He caught himself before he could make the situation even worse, thankfully. “I just think you don’t need to say shit like that. You have no idea.” Who gave this guy the right to say those things when he didn’t have a clue what it was like being there? He never wanted to hurt a soul, and he knew Dave; knew he was only doing what he thought was right.

Rob looked Klaus over, eyeing him head to toe. “You got a problem?” He sneered. “Where did Dave pick you up anyway?”

Klaus balled his hands into fists at his side. “We met in the war.” He declared. “We fought, the both of us did. Maybe show some respect.”

“Respect?” Rob laughed, but it was cold and made Klaus’ blood chill. “For a couple of murderers? To think, I used to consider Dave my friend. What a joke.”

Dave pushed past Klaus to move closer to Rob. “Wait, what are you talking about?” He was so confused. “Rob, come on. We’re cousins, family. At least tell me what this is about.”

“Don’t act like you don’t know.” Rob spun around on Dave. “We’ve seen the news reports. You and your soldier buddies killed innocents, children. You’re worse than the people we’re fighting.”

“What?” Dave’s eyes blew wide and Klaus struggled to remember all of his teachings on the Vietnam War from when Grace would give them history lessons. Nothing about it was good.

“That wasn’t Dave!” Emma insisted, shaking her head. “He had nothing to do with those people. It wasn’t him.” They had begun to gather attention from the other guests.

“Bullshit.” Rob didn’t take his eyes off of Dave. “He’s a murderer and he signed up for it. Bastard fucking enlisted.” He shoved Dave in the chest, sending him stumbling back.

As soon as the man put his hands on his boyfriend, Klaus saw red. He wasn’t about to let him touch him without consequence. He stormed forward and punched Rob in the jaw. “Don’t you fucking touch him!” He warned, standing in front of Dave protectively.

Rob stumbled back, but his eyes hardened. “You think you can fucking touch me?” He snarled, punching Klaus square in the nose. Klaus heard a crack and he stumbled back, blood streaming down his face. He hissed in pain, but paid it no mind. He’d had worse. He opened his eyes, not realizing that he closed them. He saw Dave swinging at Rob, shouting something indistinguishable. Klaus smirked, a bubble of joy rising in his chest as he realized that Dave was willing to fight for him as well as with him. The tall man from earlier stepped in to pull Dave away, holding him tightly and keeping him from Rob.

“Alright, that’s enough.” The tall man - John, Klaus remembered his name was - insisted. “You all need to take a step back and breathe.”

Dave scowled. “What the hell happened, Rob?” He glared at his cousin. “What did I do that was so wrong other than fight for you?” He dusted himself off, a bruise forming on his cheek. Rob must have gotten a punch in somewhere.

Rob shook his head, gaze never leaving Dave’s. “You really think you’re a hero, huh?” He scoffed. “You’re a monster. That’s what you are. That’s all you are.”

Dave deflated. “How could you say that? I was fighting for you. I was fighting for everyone.”

“Dave, there are some things that you need to know.” Emma said gently, placing a hand on her brother’s arm. “You should sit down. You too, Klaus.” She suggested, leading them both to the couch for a debriefing.

Klaus swallowed and glanced at Ben for the briefest of seconds. His brother was sitting on the arm of the couch, his eyes soft. “Vietnam was a mistake.” He said so quietly. “So many innocent people died.” He met Klaus’ gaze. “Dave doesn’t even know the half of what he was really fighting for.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments! They really do keep us coming back!


	4. War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this chapter gets a little heavy. There are descriptions of war flashbacks and PTSD, as well as drug addiction and relapse, so please be aware if that sort of thing isn't something that you can handle.

Dave didn’t take the news of what had been happening both in and out of Vietnam very well. He’d had no idea that his fellows soldiers had killed civilians or that protests in America had taken the country by storm. Upon learning about what happened, he had retreated to his room and refused to come out. He fell into a deep depression, speaking to no one and only leaving his room to use the bathroom. Klaus felt his heart go out to him. He’d known at least the basics of what had been going on during the Vietnam War as soon as he arrived, but Dave had been left in the dark. Klaus couldn’t imagine what thoughts were going through his head. 

The first night they had stayed in Dave’s family home, Klaus had been given his own room. He’d tossed and turned all night, not used to the nice bed gifted to him. The room was large, dark, and too quiet. Klaus couldn’t handle being stuck there with his own thoughts. Ben was there, but he couldn’t do much to help when the nightmares started. Each time he closed his eyes, he heard explosions, felt the dirt spraying in his face, saw the faces of his fellow soldiers. His eyes would snap open and he would find himself shaking. They wouldn’t stop. He was sitting up in the bed, gasping for air as he trembled.

“You’re not there.” Ben assured him, sitting beside him. “Klaus, focus. You’re here. You’re in Dave’s family’s spare bedroom. It’s okay.” 

Klaus nodded repeatedly, focusing in on Ben’s voice. “Right.” He choked out. “I’m not there. I’m…” He shook his head and slowly laid back down, allowing his head to hit the pillow. He stared up at the dark ceiling, glad that no other ghosts from the battlefield had followed him there. He took a few uneven breaths before closing his eyes once again.

_ The young man had black hair and brown skin and slim wrists, wore an ammunition belt and a gold ring, and thick, shiny blood poured out from his neck. One could say it was this wound that had killed him, but Klaus knew the truth of it-  _ he  _ had killed him. _

_ The young man- or rather, his body- laid there after the smoke had all cleared and Klaus couldn’t stop staring. “I- I killed him,” he choked out, to no one in particular, and his voice didn’t feel like his own. After he had found himself in the middle of this war, he had told himself he wouldn’t kill a soul- he wouldn’t be able to live with that- but sitting in the red dirt and staring at the man he killed, he understood that this was Vietnam and all bets were off, and he felt  _ wrong.

_ The young man had slim wrists- a soldier, but not a fighter- and the oozing of blood was beginning to slow and Klaus already knew this young man would haunt him forever. He pulled his knees to his chest and stared, almost vacantly, and flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t look up. _

_ “Hey man.” The voice belonged to one of his fellow soldiers, whose name escaped him, whose name didn’t matter right then. “Quit starin’,” he said. “What else were you supposed to do?” _

_ Then he said, “I’m serious. It’s tough, but stop starin’ and let’s go.” _

_ Then he said, “Man, it’s a  _ war.”

_ Klaus put his hands over his ears, but it wasn’t the other soldier he was trying to drown out. He didn’t understand Vietnamese, but he didn’t need to for him to understand the pain in the voice he heard, the voice of the man he killed. _

_ The young man stood before Klaus now, and his neck was still glistening with blood, and his face was glistening with tears, and he continued babbling in pained Vietnamese. He stared at Klaus. _

_ Klaus rocked back and forth in the dirt with his hands over his ears, though it didn’t help, and he felt himself start to cry. “No no nononono,” he babbled. “I’m sorry, I’m  _ sorry _ , I-“ He shook his head. _

_ His fellow soldier tried to speak to him again. “Hargreeves,” he said, and Klaus didn’t reply, only continued rocking and muttering. _

_ Then he said, “Look, would you rather you were lying there? Do you want that? I mean, seriously.” Klaus didn’t reply, but he would’ve said yes if he had. _

_ The man he killed was still staring at Klaus. _

_ “Listen,” the other soldier said. “You feel terrible, I get it.” _

_ Then he said, “Okay, maybe I don’t.” Of course he didn’t. The young man- the dead man- was staring at Klaus and trying to speak to him and his compatriots couldn’t understand what it meant to be  _ literally  _ haunted like that. _

_ “Look,” the other man said. “You gotta pull your shit together. Can’t sit here all day.” Klaus just sobbed, and begged for the man he killed to go away, just  _ go away _ , he was  _ sorry, alright _?  _

_ The young man didn’t move. _

_ The other soldier covered the body with a poncho, but that didn’t make any difference to Klaus. Then he said, “Hargreeves, we’re moving out. Come on.” _

_ Then he said, “Man, I’m sorry. Let’s just go.” _

_ Later, he said, “You’ll get over it, I promise.”  _

_ The young man followed Klaus, of course, after the platoon moved out. The the man he killed- slim wrists, a soldier but not a fighter- was still there in front of him and he had to carry his ghost with him for the rest of this goddamn war. _

Klaus jolted up in bed, tears streaming down his face. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. Each time he blinked, all he saw was that ghastly face staring back at him. His fault. All his fault. He was a murderer, a killer. He was just as bad; if not worse, than the people he had killed. He scrambled for air, pulling his knees to his chest. He ran his fingers through his curls, grabbing and tugging, trying to feel anything that he could prove was real. He was sobbing, choking on his own saliva and tears. He couldn’t even see or hear Ben. He was alone. That was what frightened him the most. 

He eventually forced himself out of bed, legs barely supporting his own weight. He tiptoed towards Dave’s room, pulling the door open with a slight creaking sound. He stood in the doorway, watching as Dave sat up. 

“Who’s there?” He questioned, voice holding the hint of fear. 

Klaus took a careful step forward. “It’s just me.” He assured, voice cracking. “I can’t sleep.” He admitted. 

Dave’s expression softened as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. “Nightmares?” He asked gently. When Klaus nodded, he scooted over. “Come here.” Klaus immediately did so, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, who did the same for him. “I’m here.” He assured. “I’m right here.” He kissed his head. 

Klaus started crying again and he couldn’t say why. He buried his face in Dave’s shoulder, trying and failing to keep his voice down. Dave didn’t complain, just holding Klaus close and stroking his hair. It reminded him so much of when Dave would hold him during the war, when Klaus would go through his periods of trying to get clean. That made him think of the first time he relapsed on the battlefield. 

_ Klaus was shaking. There were so many voices in his head- the voices of those slain on the battlefield of this stupid, pointless war. He knew how meaningless it would all ultimately be; and yet, he participated in the slaughter. The slim wristed soldier wasn’t the only one he had killed, but he never left. He plagued Klaus everyday, never resting in his terrorization of Klaus, but it was his fault that he was even able to. Even when Klaus finally laid down his head to rest, the man was in his dreams. The voices wouldn’t leave him. He just wanted to be free of them. It reminded him far too much of being a scared little boy locked in a mausoleum by his father. He never wanted to feel that helpless again.  _

_ “We just got a new shipment of supplies.” Someone was talking - someone alive. “They even gave us pain medications, if you can believe it.”  _

_ Pain medication. Pills. That was what Klaus needed: Pills. Pills to make the voices stop, pills to help ease his shaking. Pills would make everything better. Klaus snuck into the medic’s pockets that night, creeping over him as he slept. After years of stealing, of sneaking, it was all too easy to slide the bottle out of his coat. When he awoke, he would think that he had misplaced them. There was a war going on, after all.  _

_ Klaus found his way back to his sorry excuse for a bed, shaking out several pills onto his hand. He tossed them back and swallowed without the need for water. It was easy, too easy. It would make everything so much better. When he opened his eyes, he saw Dave staring at him.  _

_ “What are you doing?” He whispered as he sat up. “What is that?” He swiped the pills from Klaus’ hand. “You stole them.” It wasn’t a question. “Klaus, how could you?”  _

_ “I’m sorry.” It was the truth. “I needed them.” That was a sorry excuse. “The voices-” His voice broke and he found himself in tears. How could he even begin to explain to Dave why he needed the pills more than the men dying around them? “I’m sorry.”  _

_ Instead of yelling at him, Dave pulled him into a hug, stroking his hair and shushing him. “It’s alright.” He assured. “It’s alright, no one needs to know about this.” He kissed Klaus’ temple. “But you don’t need these, alright?” He pulled away to look at him. “You don’t need them. I’m putting these back in the morning. I’ll say that I found them. No one needs to know that this happened. I’ll help you through this.” And he kept that promise. He helped Klaus through the withdrawal that came from his relapse and the one that came from his next release and the next and the next. Dave was always by his side.  _

When Klaus returned to consciousness, the sun was filtering into the room and Dave was fast asleep at his side. He smiled to himself, leaning up to kiss Dave’s cheek. They spend each night like this, Klaus retiring to his own room each evening before slipping into Dave’s bed before the nightmares could haunt him. No one seemed to notice and if they did, they didn’t say anything. Dave still spoke to no one, save for Klaus. 

“You don’t have to feel bad, you know.” Klaus assured him one day. “I killed too. We all did. We didn’t kill civilians.That wasn’t us.” 

Dave shook his head. “You don’t understand.” He protested weakly. “You only killed because you had to. You were drafted. I chose to do what I did. I chose to fight and to kill.” He looked at his hands. “Your hands are clean, Klaus. Mine aren’t. Mine aren’t.” His voice had dropped to a whisper and he sounded like he might cry again, so Klaus dropped the subject. 

Klaus became more acquainted with Dave’s family as the man kept himself locked in his room. Dave’s mother was a darling woman who insisted that Klaus call her Esther. She cooked most meals and invited Klaus to sit down for each and every one, an offer that he often refused. He’d rather eat in Dave’s room, trying to coax his boyfriend into consuming something other than water. Dave rarely ate anymore and it was beginning to show. Dave’s father was a stern man who refused to be called anything but Mr. Katz. He was intimidating and rarely showed any emotion save for disapproval. He watched Klaus like a hawk and Klaus was beginning to fear that he knew something that Klaus didn’t. If he did, he remained quiet about it. 

Dave’s sisters were nothing but nice to Klaus. Emma was sweet and had a childish innocence to her, even if it was more forced than not. Mary had a tendency to flirt with Klaus at every opportunity, but she meant well. They tried to help their brother in any way they could, even if they seemed a bit jealous that he would talk to Klaus and not them.

A week into Klaus’ stay, he happened to be downstairs when he heard a knock at the door. He made his way to the front of the house and opened it, being met by a short man with crooked teeth and red hair. “Hello, I’m here to see Dave Katz.” 

Klaus looked him up and down. “And who are you?” He asked, getting an unsettling feeling just from looking at him. 

“My name is James.” He introduced himself. “I’m Dave’s boyfriend.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	5. Boyfriends

“Excuse me?” Klaus stared at the man with wide eyes, head racing. Boyfriend? What was that supposed to mean? Dave didn’t have a boyfriend apart from him. 

“Dave is my boyfriend.” The man with the ginger hair broke into a grin. “God, that feels so good to say. Boyfriend. I am in love with David Katz.” He had a dreamy expression on his face. “I’m done hiding it.” 

Klaus gaped, his heart hammering in his chest. “There must be some mistake.” He insisted. “You should go.” 

“Why?” James challenged. “Because Dave’s not gay? That’s where you’re wrong, my friend. He is. He’s a queer, just like me. We’re in love and there’s nothing you can do about it.” 

Klaus’ confusion quickly changed to anger.”Dave isn’t speaking to anyone right now.” He managed to get out through clenched teeth. “He just got back from Vietnam, I don’t know if you heard.” Dave wasn’t speaking to anyone, not anyone but Klaus. Klaus took a bit of pride in that. He was the only one  _ his  _ boyfriend felt comfortable speaking with. He wouldn’t want this guy hanging around. 

James deflated slightly. “He didn’t tell me he was going to war.” He admitted. “He probably wanted to spare my feelings, but I forgive him and we’ll work through it.” He smiled up at Klaus. “That’s what you do when you love someone. If you want to toss me out, fine, but I’ll be back. I’ll never stop fighting for him.” 

Klaus hesitated, wanting to slam the door on the ginger’s face. How dare he introduce himself as Dave’s lover? “Let me ask him if he wants to see you.” He decided, shutting the door and making his way to Dave’s room. He yanked open the door and stood in the doorway. 

“Don’t take this out on him.” Ben warned. “He’s still in a fragile emotional state right now. Take it easy on him.” 

Klaus ignored him. “There’s someone here for you.” He spat, anger threatening to overtake him. “A ginger guy, says his name is James.” 

That made Dave sit up. “James?” He echoed, staring at Klaus blankly. He looked a mess, hair frazzled and clothes slept in. He hadn’t showered or even brushed his teeth all week. Klaus had seen him in worse conditions, but even in Vietnam, he had gone through the effort to take care of himself. Now, it was like he had just given up entirely. “What’s he doing here?” 

“He’s here to see you.” Klaus explained, barely keeping his anger down. “Says he’s your boyfriend.” 

“He said  _ what?!”  _ Dave jumped out of bed and scrambled towards the window, tripping over himself to peer out of it. “He just told you that? What if you had been a member of my family?” 

“He didn’t seem to care.” Klaus crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. “He said he’s done hiding his love for you.” He mocked overdramatically, waving a hand through the air. Was that really what Dave was so upset about over this? What about Klaus? 

“ _ Shit.”  _ Dave hissed, shoving his way past Klaus and down the stairs. “He can’t just go around telling people that!” He practically threw himself at the front door, opening it. “James.” He froze in his tracks, shirt unbuttoned. “Hi.” 

James stood in the doorway and grinned at Dave, seemingly oblivious to his distress. “It’s so good to see you; I’ve missed you so much, I-“

Klaus watched the interaction, expecting- hoping- for Dave to tell him to  _ get out _ . But Dave just stared at the redhead for a moment or two before he spoke. “What are you  _ doing? _ ” he hissed. “You cannot- you cannot just show up and say that shit. What are you  _ thinking?” _

James took a step forward and grabbed both of Dave’s hands, and Klaus wondered what his bastard thought he was doing. “Dave, I  _ love you _ , and I’m not going to-“ He spoke loudly and freely, but Dave didn’t let him finish and jerked his hands away.

“Keep your voice down!” he snapped.

 James looked like he didn’t understand the problem. “Have I done something wrong? I thought you’d be happy to see me; it’s been six years! I just…” He reached for him again.

“James. James, you  _ have _ to be more careful,” Dave said, trying- and struggling- to keep cool. Klaus, meanwhile, was having the same struggle for a different reason, and he finally caved to it.

“Why is  _ that _ the problem here?” he interjected. “Christ, Dave, what about me?”

Dave looked over at him and sighed. “Klaus, I was getting there,” he said. He glanced back at James. “Sit, both of you?” He gestured to the couch, and both men complied. “James, this is Klaus.” He began. “Klaus, this is James.”

“This isn’t important, Dave.” James insisted. “It doesn’t matter who he is. All that matters is us.” 

Dave shook his head. “That’s not- James, this is my  _ boyfriend,  _ Klaus.” He explained, refusing to look at either of them. “We met in Vietnam and we’re together.” It was the first time either of them had actually, verbally addressed the other as their romantic partner. It made Klaus’ heart swell with joy to hear it. He allowed a smirk to spread across his face as he glanced at James, who looked crestfallen. 

“Your- Your what?” He appeared absolutely heartbroken. Klaus shouldn’t have felt triumphant about that. The ginger looked back and forth between Klaus and Dave. “You found someone else?”

“James, we were never together.” Dave said, clearing up some confusion in Klaus’ mind. “We had sex. That’s all we ever were, okay?” He sighed. “I’m sorry if I led you to believe that we were something more, but we weren’t. We were friends who had sex. I never had feelings for you. You deserve to know that.” He was so blunt and dismissive of James’ feelings, but Klaus reveled in it. “That’s why I didn’t even tell you that I was enlisting.” 

James’ eyes were swimming in tears. “O-Oh. I see.” 

“I’m really sorry, man.” He told him genuinely. “I still consider you to be a really good friend to me.”

“No, it’s alright.” James wiped his eyes. “I must have gotten an idea stuck in my head after all these years.” He exhaled shakily. “It’s okay.” He looked over at Klaus. “You told him about us, at least. Right?” He returned his gaze to Dave. “He knew about what we shared?”

Dave hesitated. “Well-”

“Dave?” Klaus stood. “A word?” He requested, leading his boyfriend to another room. “How the hell could you not tell me?” He snapped angrily, blood boiling just under his skin. 

“It wasn’t a big deal!” He insisted. “He was just a friend of mine! How was I supposed to know that he thought me blowing him was a declaration of love?” He hissed, struggling to keep his voice down. 

“Well, he obviously had some reason to believe that!” Klaus argued. “‘Friends’ don’t have misunderstandings like that unless there’s something going on!” Anyone else in the house could certainly hear him yelling, but that was the last thing he cared about.

“Klaus, I  _ don’t  _ have any feelings for him.” Dave, unlike Klaus, was trying to be somewhat quiet, but that was becoming increasingly difficult. “I don’t, and I never have. Why would I lie to you about this?!”

“I don’t know, why would you keep it from me in the first place?!” Klaus bit back.

“I told you; it doesn’t  _ matter _ !”

“Fine! Fucking  _ fine _ !” Klaus was red in the face, fuming. “Of course it doesn’t fucking matter. Fine. Great.” And he turned around and stomped off and the door of the spare bedroom slammed behind him.

Klaus eventually cooled down. Though he hated to admit it, maybe he did overreact somewhat. He apologized to Dave for that, and Dave apologized for having not told him sooner. They seemed to understand that it was a misunderstanding, that neither one of them meant any harm to the other.

James, meanwhile, hadn’t left. He was still sitting there on Dave’s couch. Dave sat with him and he told him firmly that “we’re still friends, but you gotta be  _ careful _ , alright?” ‘Careful’ was how Dave referred to being closeted. Neither James nor Klaus appreciated it very much, but neither of them argued with him on it. Klaus left the room for just a moment, leaving James and Dave alone.

When he returned, the two were sitting much closer. James had a hand on Dave’s thigh, he was leaning closer. Had Klaus waited just a moment, he would’ve seen Dave push him away and tell him that  _ no _ , that he has a  _ boyfriend _ . But he couldn’t have known that, and he did not wait.

“Hey, what the hell?!” He stared at the two of them and he felt the anger within him beginning to rise all over again. But on top of that, he just felt  _ hurt _ . He thought everything was  _ okay,  _ and he trusted Dave, and then he walks in on this? 

Dave jumped a little where he was sitting and looked at Klaus. “Klaus? What-“ 

Klaus didn’t let him finish. He was already too upset to consider the situation rationally. “What the fuck are you  _ doing _ ?!” Tears were pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” It took a moment before it occurred to Dave what Klaus was thinking. “Klaus, it’s not like that!”

“I  _ saw you _ !” he insisted. “You didn’t have to lie and tell me he was nothing if you were going to do this as soon as I turned my back. Could’ve just dumped me then.” He laughed humorlessly.

“I don’t  _ want  _ to do that! I really don’t- you’re not listening! Just let me explain.” Dave insisted, rising off of the couch and reaching for his boyfriend. 

Klaus took a step back, pulling himself away from Dave, gaze hard. “You don’t have to explain  _ anything.”  _ He said harshly. Perhaps he was overreacting, maybe he was being too judgmental and was too quick to jump to conclusions, but he didn’t  _ care.  _ He had done everything for Dave, had followed him to the front lines and beyond. He had every right to be upset if he thought that his boyfriend was cheating on him. He shook his head and grabbed the nearest coat that was hanging on the rack. 

“Klaus.” Dave sounded distraught. “Klaus, what are you doing?” 

“I’m going out.” He snarled, anger still radiating off of him in waves. 

“Out where?” 

“I’m going for a  _ walk, _ Dave! Last time I checked, I don’t need your permission.” He made his way to the door, pulling it open. He took a step out before he heard the meek voice of his boyfriend call after him. 

“Please don’t go.” 

Klaus slammed the door on his way out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments!


	6. Relapse

Klaus stormed out of the house, wrapping his arms around himself and choking back tears. How could Dave do that to him? Didn’t he know how much Klaus loved him? Klaus did everything in the world for him and this was how Dave repaid him, by  _ cheating.  _ Klaus felt gross, disgusting. He wanted to find some trash can he could throw himself inside of until he withered away. Dramatic? Perhaps, but he just felt so fucking  _ awful.  _

He couldn’t stop crying once he started, choking on his own tears. He felt like he was drowning, drowning in a sea of thoughts and emotions that just weighed him down until he sunk. Without Dave, there was nothing to keep him afloat. Without Dave, there was only one thing that could allow him to gasp for life-saving air, but he promised that he’d never do that again. He was supposed to have gotten better. He closed his eyes and remembered. 

_ Dave hadn’t been angry at him for relapsing. Not the first time or even the second. He had held him close through the worst of the withdrawal, holding back his hair when he needed to puke and holding him in his arms when he couldn’t stop the shaking. He was there for him every step of the way. The third time, however, his exhaustion began to show.  _

_ “Klaus!” He snapped, causing the man to look up from where he was hunched over a bottle of freshly stolen pills. Dave’s eyes were so pained, so hurt. “Klaus, why do you keep doing this to yourself?”  _

_ “I-I-” Klaus didn’t have a good answer, not one that he could explain to Dave. How was one supposed to tell their boyfriend that they were haunted by the ghosts of the men that they had killed and that the only way to get their voices out of their head was to get high out of their mind? Klaus couldn’t just explain all that to Dave; not now, not yet. “I need them.” He finished lamely, still holding the handful of pills in a tightly clenched fist.  _

_ Dave sighed heavily and shook his head. “No. No, you don’t.” He insisted, holding a hand out for Klaus to deposit the pills into, which he did. “You don’t need this, Klaus. You can get through this. Have enough faith in me that I will help you get out of this without the need for drugs.” He emptied his hand of pills back into the bottle. “Okay? You don’t need this when you have me.”  _

Those words echoed through Klaus’ head as he walked.  _ You don’t need this when you have me.  _ Yeah, well Klaus didn’t have Dave. Dave was all over James now. Klaus was alone; alone with a familiar itch just under his skin. He searched the coat’s pockets quickly, managing to find a twenty dollar bill. He grinned to himself, knowing that it was enough for what he needed. He began searching, scanning for the signs that someone sold what he needed. He knew what to look for, after all. He eventually spotted a man in a long, dark jacket, peering out of an alleyway and smoking a cigarette. He flicked his cigarette off to the side as he greeted a young couple who approached him. Klaus watched as the woman discreetly slipped the man some cash before accepting a small baggie in return. She pocketed it with a sly grin, looking back at her blond boyfriend with an excited look in her eye. 

Klaus approached them and the blond man stood in front of the woman protectively. “Can we help you?” If Klaus had actually been a cop, the man would have raised all sorts of red flags for a drug deal going down.    


“Relax.” Klaus took out the twenty he had found. “I’m buying.” He turned to the dealer, who exchanged a few quick words with him before giving him what he needed. Klaus accepted eagerly, inhaling deeply. It had been too long since he’d had any of the real stuff. 

The man with the bleach-blond hair watched Klaus and waited until the exchange was over. “Hey, man.” Klaus looked back at him and he could already tell from the smirk on the other man’s face that there was nowhere good this night would end up. He looked forward to it.

“Y-Yeah?” Klaus hated how he stumbled over his words in his attempt to reply. He coughed, trying to pass it off without making a fool of himself. “Yeah?”

The man laughed. “You cool, man?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” He assured. 

“What’s your name?” The blond asked, draping an arm over his girlfriend’s shoulders. “I’m Roger, this is April.” 

“Klaus.” He introduced, clutching the baggie in his fist. “Klaus Hargreeves.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Klaus Hargreeves.” Roger grinned, sharing a look with the woman at his side. “You wanna come over to our place?” He offered. “We could hang out, have a little fun, take a load off.” 

Klaus should say no. He should  _ really  _ say no. He could tell what these two thought  _ a little fun  _ meant. He should decline and dump the baggie of heroin out before returning to Dave. That was what he should do. 

“Sure.” He agreed, slipping the baggie into his back pocket. “Why not?” He shrugged and grinned. “Lead the way.”

Klaus followed Roger and April back to their apartment. A small voice in the back of his head continued to tell him that this was a terrible idea, that he should turn around and go home to Dave, but he ignored it. He just wanted to get high and feel  _ good  _ again. That was all he wanted.

The place where his new friends- because that was what they were now, right? For Klaus, ‘friends’ meant ‘people you get high with’. Their place wasn’t the nicest; an old industrial loft re-purposed into an apartment. The floor was littered with cigarette butts and candy bar wrappers and empty beer bottles. But the mess didn’t matter too much to Klaus.

He was pulled to the falling-apart couch, sitting down. He watched Roger dig around until he found an old spoon and a syringe. He watched him pull out a lighter and cook the heroin; watched him and April inject it into each other’s veins. Before he knew it, Klaus had a belt tightened around his own arm and a needle puncturing his own skin. He closed his eyes as the feeling began to wash over him. It had been too damn long.

And then, without even time to process- his thoughts were always so much slower when he was like this- he was pulled up onto his feet again. April dragged Klaus and Roger both out of the apartment, and they ended up in a club.

Klaus, in his current state, certainly didn’t care that the club they entered wasn’t the nicest establishment. He also didn’t protest when Roger pulled him out onto the floor. Roger’s hands were on Klaus’ ass almost immediately and their bodies were pressed extremely close together. Klaus was too high to think about any of the problems with this; there were none as far as he was concerned. He wasn’t thinking about Dave when Roger kissed him; he just kissed back. They made out in the middle of the club, sloppily and hungrily, and Klaus wanted  _ more.  _ He always wanted more. 

Roger grabbed Klaus’ lip between his teeth and  _ pulled  _ in a way that had Klaus moaning into his mouth. Roger’s hands started grasping and his shirt, tugging and pulling to get Klaus out of it, seemingly not caring that they were in a public establishment. Klaus barely registered any of it, mind still so muddled from the heroin. He didn’t snap back into reality until he heard a familiar voice calling his name. 

“Klaus?” Klaus pulled away from Roger to see Dave, standing with the most pitiful expression Klaus had ever seen on his face. James was by his side, appearing surprised yet smug about what they had walked in on. “Klaus, what are you doing?” Dave’s voice held too many complex emotions than Klaus’ drug-addled mind could process. 

“Dave?” Klaus pulled away from Roger, whose arms were still wrapped around him. Oh God, what had he just done? “Dave, I-” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.” 

Dave’s expression suddenly turned to one of anger. 

“Don’t.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are our bet friends!!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments! They help us out so much as writers and keep us coming back to works that people enjoy!


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